Thursday, August 31, 2006

DEAD MANS BED





DEAD MANS BED


He floats above a dead mans bed
Clairvoyant pillow
Beneath his head

Transcendental
Labile views
Mystic fable
DeJaVu

Church bells ringing
Dharma’s curse
Walking wounded
Nothings worse

His phone rings wildly
No ones home
Impatiently
She quotes Bohme

Selfish act
The bird has flown
Weeping widow
All alone

Fleeting thoughts
As he drifts away
What might have been
Tearful cliché


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Sunday, August 27, 2006

EXODUS











EXODUS



Exodus from alcoholic slavery
Horrid mental anguish
Migratory misery
Esophageal firestorm
Compliments of a thirty year binge
Supernatural blight
Nightmarish infiltration
To pinpoint the precise moment
Inaugural initiation
Obstructed blurry view
Clouds my rapid downward spiral
An unsuspecting teen
Arrogance fueled by defiance
Fear controlled my intellect
Drunken full tilt spin
Blindly into darkness
Futile distilled asylum
Insensitive wild eyed disconnection
Numb pandemonium
Shameless social etiquette
As I stumbled down the rocky path to hell
Lightening bolts of clarity
Reminders of my neurotic past
Living life from day to day
Filled with gratitude
Ever cognizant
Of addictions deadly embrace



© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

TRANSLUCENT ASPIRATIONS




TRANSLUCENT ASPIRATIONS



Auditory assault
Visual waylay
The media twists the puppet strings
With such colloquial banter
Verbatim arguments
Trivial conversation
Mindless nervous chatter
I seek a deeper connection
Expression of profound truthfulness
No time for confrontation
Besides
It makes me nauseous
Peace
The main objective
Testimony of this broken man
Renewed by holy format
In likeness of His paradigm
Translucent aspirations
The walk defines the fellow
Endeavors tranquil syllabus
Roadmap to eternal life
So simple in it’s basis
So drastic is the alchemy



© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

THE POETS LONELY PATH



THE POETS LONELY PATH


Through the years
Darkened path so winding
At times
A force of unseen dominance
Demonic Grand Mal seizures
Possessive flower of age
Homogenous intentions
Sardonic grin of reckless behavior
Vain attempt at common sense
Alas
My drumbeats idiosyncrasy
Misunderstood by most
They just can’t dig the beat
Ignored but not forgotten
The true amorphic impact
Arrives in post mortems accolades
No worries
All is as it’s meant to be
I wander on in obscurity
Bleeding as I flow


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Monday, August 21, 2006

CONCEPT OF SWAY




CONCEPT OF SWAY


Primrose curtains
Drawn in silent mourning
Death of my own pomposity
Funeral dirge bemoans
Extinguished flame
Once so fiercely effulgent
Eternal concept of sway
Delicate balance of all living things
Finely tuned to veiled harmony
Disturbed by the slightest flutter
It remains unclear to me
Mysterious happenstance
Gifts of serendipity
Woe beyond belief
Acceptance is my amulet
Faith in things unseen
Passion for deliverance
Unrestricted stasis
Basal bedrock of hope
Communal acknowledgement
Words of gracious praise
From this unworthy pupil
To Him who made me whole


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Sunday, August 20, 2006

BLESSED CONGRUENCE








BLESSED CONGRUENCE



Glowing incense
Warms the darkened room
Pungent patchouli
Aroma titillating
Reflective meditation
Enthusiastic scrutiny
Complacency accomplished
Nothing left to prove
Temperament
Full flavored
Savory taste of conciliation
Void of trepidation
Fearlessness
Naive laconic valor
Gained from holy mettle
I make no promises
Simply going with the flow
Permanent migration
Land of the Leal in sight
Blessed congruence
In the eye of a sinful gale


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

IT’S ALL ABOUT SOUL






IT’S ALL ABOUT SOUL


No earthly chains can bind me
Hold me down against my will
Tripping to a different ideology
Not concerned with nonconcurrance
Poles apart in theory
Anomaly
Yes indeed
Spiritual endowment
Grace despite my overt unworthiness
Apple polish hokum
Insincerity jive
Shallow social banter
Escapes my conscious contemplation
Monetary cravings
Departed long ago
Now it’s all about soul
Truthful simplicity
Unquestionable connection
With those who dare to ascend



© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Monday, August 14, 2006

CHILDISH NOTIONS






CHILDISH NOTIONS


Abandoned tidal pool
Shimmering melancholy
Moonlit desolation
Gravity draws me inward
Exploration of a lonely man-child
It wears me out at times
Strength slowly wanes
In the fierce battle of opposing will
Dreams of her
Stem from gnawing need
Selfish
Possibly
Forgive my childish notions
Poignant lachrymose
Killing me in drone increments
One candlelit memory at a time
Filled with intense anticipation
Her ambrosial taste
Soft supple skin
Enchanting redolence
Gentle throaty sounds
As she slumbers by my side
Hypothetical endurance
Survival
An acquired proficiency
In the relentless raw aggression
Heartaches serrated barrage


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Sunday, August 13, 2006

MOLESTED SANDS OF TIME






MOLESTED SANDS OF TIME




Molested sands of time
Scattered on the hostile gale
Wind swept consternation
Fractured vision
Warps their innocent view
Prismatic cataracts
Years of disillusion
Altered perception of reality
Spoon fed mostly lies
Organized propaganda
So many layers of banal deceit
Smother truths delicate pith
Tragic tears of grief
Bomb shelter anguish
Flowing from our children’s perspective
My deepest focused obsession
Peaceful coexistence
Birthright from the highest authority
To walk in righteous form
Grasp His holy counsel
Our only coherent recourse


2 Kings 14:6 (King James Version)

6But the children of the murderers he slew not: according unto that which is written in the book of the law of Moses, wherein the LORD commanded, saying, The fathers shall not be put to death for the children, nor the children be put to death for the fathers; but every man shall be put to death for his own sin.



© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

CHAPTER 1 FROM MY FIRST BOOK " I AM AND I"


I have always known I was different. Close friends were few as I rebelled against the thought of “fitting in”. Driven by a powerful thirst for truth and some answers to my extreme curiosity about human nature, I began to wear a mask of denial at a young age. On the outside, I was an all American boy destined to a proud pillar of the community. On the inside, a militant activist with a conscious was developing.

I found comfort in music. A child of the “Woodstock” era, I was drawn to the radical lyrics and musical expression of artists like Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, Kansas, Bob Marley, and Grand Funk Railroad. The messages of peace, love, and “doing my own thing” flooded my senses. The more I learned about the way our society was organized, the less I wanted to be a part of it. Social injustice and civil rights violations became the focus of my anger. Instead of developing an attitude of national pride and support, I lashed out at the hypocrisy of our governmental and religious institutions. How could we be living in the “land of the free” when human beings were being treated like animals in Birmingham Alabama? How could we justify fighting a war in Vietnam to liberate complete strangers when millions of people in our own country were oppressed? How could we explain spending billions of dollars to fight communism in other countries, when American citizens were starving and homeless? These powerful thoughts shaped the man I was to become.

My parents are loyal members of The United Methodist Church. They did everything in their power to insure I was exposed to a solid Christian ethic and raised in a religious environment. I remember the warm sense of family I received from my church experience as a boy. One of the early messages that burned in my mind about God was to fear Him. I grew up believing in a “Get Ya” God. I was taught that I would burn in hell for eternity if I sinned. Being the realist I was in my youth, I figured I was doomed already and what was the point of even trying to save my soul. As I grew and began to understand the financial and political influence the church has over our society, I began to sense an evil presence buried in the pietistic institution that was driven by lust and greed. The lyrics to a U2 song entitled “Bullet the Blue Sky” says “Well, the God I believe in isn’t short of cash, mister”. This became my anthem as my opinion of organized religion shifted to a more skeptical nature. About this time in my life, I discovered how to self medicate and ease the pain and sooth my anger. I experimented with alcohol and illegal drugs as a way to cope with my frustration.

I met the God I know today, the loving, compassionate, healing, gentle, precious Savior Jesus Christ, in a 12 step meeting. When I was 13 years old, I had my first drink. I polished off a bottle of cheap wine, got extremely drunk, passed out, and woke up the next day in a pool of vomit. I felt miserable and swore I would never do that again. Two days later, the compulsive obsession of alcoholism took over my life. I began my journey into the hell of addiction, fueled by my anger and my rebellious spirit. By the time I reached age 43, after 30 years of increased alcohol consumption on a daily basis, I found myself at the bottom. I had managed to drink my way through 2 failed marriages, 2 bankruptcies, and total destruction of my self esteem. Suicidal and despondent, I decided to visit a local group in Huntsville, Alabama dedicated to recovery. I managed to stay “dry” for 6 months out of sheer desperation. The “pink cloud” of euphoria offered temporary relief from the fierce cravings my body was suffering as a result of withdrawal. I eventually gave in to my powerful disease and drank again. That last relapse changed my life forever.

I do not remember all of the details from that last drunk. All I recall is the foreboding blackness. The numbing effect of the vodka that had been my lover for so many years finally turned on me. The more I drank, the worse I felt. My head felt like a screwdriver was boring into my skull at the base of my neck. I could not eat, I could not sleep. My body shook violently from convulsions. A cold, chilling sweat penetrated my bones. I truly thought I was dying and longed for the grim reaper to hurry it up. I had wild hallucinations of detailed conversations with my children only to discover I was completely alone in my apartment. It was then I finally realized I was defeated. The gig was up. I had reached that “jumping off place” that 12 step books teach about. I knew then that I either had to die or I had to get better. Considering the full bottle of Valium I had to take with a liter bottle of booze, my sick mind focused on the cowardly way out. As I pondered suicide, I had a vision of my youngest son finding me dead in my apartment from an overdose. In a state of hysteria, I dropped to my knees a broken man. I was at the end of my rope. I cried out to God “If you are there, please help me!” I cannot live like this any more”. Please help me to die now or make me well”. That night I slept peacefully for the first time in several weeks. I awoke the next day a changed man. I felt the healing power of Christ inside of me. The insane controlling urge for a drink was gone completely. I was redeemed by the grace of Jesus. That was April 14th, 2002 and I have not had a drink since. I am a sober miracle. I am saved. He walks beside me always. He gives me strength and confidence. He sooths my restless spirit and showers me with abundant blessings. He is my best friend and my focus is to serve His purpose forever. He delivered me from the very edge of death for this reason. To share my story with those who still suffer.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

SOBRIETY ENIGMA





SOBRIETY ENIGMA



Icy thoughts
Ethereal frostbite
Severely wasted time
Liquid suicide
Insensitive death waltz
My feeble choice of departure
One poisonous ounce at a time
Transcendental zombie
Self centered guru
Misinformed advice
Front row seat to my own annihilation
The ultimate senseless excursion
Horrific withdrawal showdown
Rightful utter torture
Point of no return
As the demons choked my spirit
Blistering heat of 10,000 suns
My being set aflame
Desperate prayers from this dead sojourner
Answered as they always are
The end
Merely a new beginning
Fresh revitalizing force
Sobriety enigma
Not so infeasible after all
Purging transfusion
Flawless sacred blood
Majestic baby steps
My palsied hands
Clinging tightly to His radiant robe
Miraculous blessings indeed
Triumphant escape from hell
No need for logics debate
Some things in life are beyond my grasp
Alive to share this with you
Precious childhood I retain
In humble gratitude

© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

LONELY HARVEST





LONELY HARVEST



Countdown to eclectic enchantment
Holy seed now blooms
Rattled nomenclature
Such clever words to offer
So few to comprehend
Rejection letters rampant
Misunderstood by countless millions
Frank poetic journey
A desolate road indeed
Cynical conundrum
I weave with nimble malaise
Twisted savoir-fare
Share an intimate glimpse
My wounded self admiration
Once a narcissistic martyr
Entombed in vacuous gloom
Sensory deprivation
Arrogance eradicated
Harsh poverty of loneliness
Just rewards for my crimes
The sentence
Impartial
Apropos
Reap now as I have sown


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

MATA HARI


MATA HARI


I’ve reached the point of no return
Vanquished trouble
Let her burn
Anxiety
Depression feeds
Gnawing downer
Manic seed
Frustrations frosty peak
Plastic sex appeal
Calculated ignorance
In salmon espadrilles
Silky feminine touch
Deceitful domain
Lust as such
Addictive reign
Why bother with this dire charade
Fraudulent farce
Resentful grenade
Complications
Selfish yen
Mata Hari
Strikes again


© Bill Grimes Jr. 2006

I AM and i ISBN# 1-4241-0749-0

I AM and i  ISBN# 1-4241-0749-0
My first book
Bill Grimes Jr.
Read My Writing at WritersCafe.org

About Me

My photo
Wherever He leads me.
If I flow it Will you read it? Will you feel it As I bleed it? Because you see I need it To justify my trip My words A pointed tip Dipped in sacred blood Precursor To the coming flood A gift from God My KING A beautiful thing To serve His higher cause I'm not seeking vain applause Simply Clarity For this lost world to see His grace Sweet charity Unconditional love And peace My ultimate release SELAH……. (C) Bill Grimes Jr. 2012

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